yutaka sucks balls!!! -Conor M. (Boulder, CO)

Yutaka tried to grope me in the agency parking lot. I fucking hate him. -Rudi A. - (San Francisco, CA)

It's not surprising that he sucks, Yutaka means "total asshole" in Japanese. - Paul J. (Pocatello, Idaho)

A frozen, black ball of hate sits in Yutaka's chest where his heart
should be. He despises all that is good in the world: marshmallows, baby bunnies, rainbows, slippers, Jesus and every awesome idea I ever suggested (and trust me, there were lots). This tiny, wretched, demon-of-a-man destroyed my will to create, my marriage, my faith in God and my ability to smile (he pistol-whipped me within an inch of my life last Summer, severing all the nerves in my face.) And I feel lucky. Keith Scott, our other partner, is so emotionally scarred he has to wear adult diapers to soak up the piss that floods out of him every time he hears the words "You", "Talk" and any word ending in
"a." Yutaka is the Japanese word for evil. If the Devil has nightmares, Yutaka is definitely in them. - Rob T. (San Francisco, CA)

Stop Hoovering, Yutaka. You suck so bad it hurts. - Erkki Izarra, (Amsterdam)

It's pretty hard to have a conversation with Yutaka, and it's not just cause his English isn't that great. It's cause he's such an asshole. How could you NOT hate this guy? I don't really know anybody that doesn't. - Eric R. (Miami, FL)

I thought i had stepped in a pile of turd, turns out it was yutakas foot, ninjas are sneaky like that, he'll bushido blade your ass and take your treasures and the dude will smoke out before you can catch his slippery shit body. better watch out, jus saying bro. Dan R. (LA, CA)

Give me a fucking break already. We got sold a bill of goods when we hired this clown. Savvy Japanese businessmen from Dentsu unloaded this dead weight from their creative department onto us and there hasn’t been a deal that poorly thought out since Jack gave up his cow for those magic beans. When he first arrived here, he was billed as a “highly talented” copywriter from Japan. I suppose that is much the same way we used to import “finely crafted” automobiles from Yugoslavia. Anyway, if you’re looking for a shitty account guy, he’s your man. Good luck with the interview, I’ve known parrots that speak better “engrish.” Fuck you, Yutaka. Fool me once, shame on you. Hire Yutaka, shame on me. - Ryan K. (Dever, CO)

I met Yutaka when he first joined CP+B. No one spoke to him ever and I just thought it was because he was shy and had no English skills. I soon realized it was because he was such an absolute jerk. He would smile and bow and call everyone giajin. He invited me to dinner once, as a truce for backstabbing me during a creative presentation, and he fed me poisoned urchin, twice-fermented nato bean and something he said was Japanese whiskey but was instead baby-horse piss. He keeps telling me that his behavior is very typical of the Japanese but I’m starting to think that maybe he’s not really telling the truth. - David G. (Miami, FL)

God I have known Yutaka for over a year and it has been the shittiest experience ever! I mean come one...I'm Korean and he's Japanese. That's like oil and water. They just don't go. I guess Crispin had to fill up their quota for Asians. America only likes two things Japanese and that is Astro Boy and the girls. Yutaka should really be Yusucka. - James J. (New York, NY)

Yutaka is personally responsible for setting American/Japanese relations back 100 years. He's as likable as ass-cancer and even more unpleasant to deal with. An almost unintelligible slacker with very few redeeming qualities, except for a passion for flatulence, a car older than God and an adventurous set of fingers. I've known single-celled organisms with more creative flair. And a better grasp of the English language. Hate hate hate hate that guy.
--Neil H. (Sydney)



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